Orc Attack: Flatulent Rebellion Review

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Do you find farting and burping funny? Because Orc Attack: Flatulent Rebellion sure does. True to the title’s suggestion, should you try to play this game, you will find yourself caught up in gasses of the nastiest kind and smells none but the orcs could withstand. Thankfully, this is all just a visual representation and nothing terrible will happen to you. Actually, that’s debatable, but for a wholly different reason.

This game tries very hard to be funny, but only rarely manages to elicit any emotion. Except maybe an occasional outburst of rage, if that counts. The problem lies in the fact that most gamers don’t find toxic gasses funny, not even if the rest of the game is great. This isn’t the case with Orc Attack, however. One of my biggest gripes with this game is that there’s no way to rebind key functions, at all. The only time controls are mentioned is when the game shows you the layout of an Xbox gamepad and makes you deal with it. This wouldn’t be that much of a problem if the controls were logical, but they’re not. Setting the uncontrollable (and terrible) camera aside, you move your orc using the arrow keys and attack/evade with random keyboard buttons. The game also foolishly assumes you already know what the keybinds are, because it displays the X360 controls whenever a new situation arises.

Graphically, the game is actually somewhat nice. Of course, the textures are terrible and all that, but the additional layer of post-processing available on PC makes this game look like a re-released two generations old game. Do you remember the first Ratchet & Clank games? Like that, but shinier and shittier. Quite literary. The blood, however, looks very decent. Animations are a far cry from the current industry standard, too. There’s like, fifteen animations total, both combat and movement. Possibly enemies, too. Yes, the game does try to add some fluff to the table by allowing you to choose from a couple of characters and customize them with trinkets, armor and weapons, but it doesn’t matter. All orcs act exactly the same and have the same moveset, and the equipment lets you both deal and withstand more damage than you can by default. There is also an unnecessary overworld map that allows you to choose among multiple levels, visit the trader and similar tidbits, but it just seems redundant. Level design is firmly entrenched in the PS2 era, with irritatingly long corridors and enemies that randomly dissapear, only to jump out of the bushes once more only a second later. The two redeeming qualities the levels have is that they play on the nostalgia card, and offer a nice challenge both when playing solo or in coop.

The combat is where the game shines, so to say. There’s a whole bunch of versatile adversaries for you to kill, and waving your clubs, flails, axes or whatever at them feels quite nice. I mean, in comparison to the rest of the game. Every level will pitch you and your pals (if they aren’t ashamed of you at this point) in front of a boss enemy, too, and most of these critters are nicely done and offer a good challenge while not being impossibly difficult to ravage through.

One possibly important thing to mention about Orc Attack: Flatulent Rebellion is that it offers two wildly different ways to play the game. You can play „clean“ and „dirty“ editions of the story, and the only difference lies in the way farts and burps are depicted. No, I am not kidding. The developers basically took the game’s only real gimmick and made it optional.

This game (port) is so half-assed that it isn’t even that. More like quarter-assed, when you take everything into account. If you have three good (and patient) mates to play the game with, you might find Orc Attack amusing, but that’s a long shot. I suggest avoiding this game like it’s a weird fat dude with sickly green skin, questionable hygiene and serious bowel movement issues.

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